The Over-rated movies of our times

I hate having to write a bad review. Nobody likes to watch a tedious film that is an embarrassment to its makers and then point out why it is so. You go into a film wanting to enjoy it. That's why I normally just do a short summary of my evaluations, most of the time. But given the state of the awards-season blitz, and since I'm seeing most of these films, someone has to address the sorry state of the film industry, in terms of the films that receive the most praise. I know all the good filmmakers are the ones that are not selling tons of box-office stubs, or receiving Oscars (Fellini, Lynch, Kubrick - the list goes on), but as time goes on, it seems that this problem is just getting worse and worse. After the Crash debacle in 2005, there seemed to be a ray of hope with the Departed, and then No Country for Old Men winning the top honour, but then there was the feel-good-I'm-not-racist-because-I-like-this-movie-affair of Slumdog Millionaire, which is a good movie, but just good, not best.

Today I'd like to address the two most over-rated films of the year, both financially and critically. These are also the two films with the best shots at winning best picture: Up in the Air by Jason Reitman, and Avatar by King James Cameron. Both these films, like Slumdog, are good and all, but they do not deserve the title of Best Picture that so many are bestowing upon them.

Up in the Air's problems begin with its being executed with such deliberation it almost seems contrived. Mark: almost. I'm prompted to finally write about this one due to my annoyance at Reitman taking Screenplay at the Globes the other night. Total robbery from Quentin. It has a good screenplay, and that is probably the least of the problems, but it is no Diablo Cody masterwork. The failure of the film is the directing, which is surprising. Instead of using his normal punch-punch pacing like he did in Thank You for Smoking, here Reitman knows that he's being profound, and it's not flattering when that shows. There were so many hanging maudlin montages I was compelled to go to the washroom, something I never do. I don't remember those being in the classic comedies of the thirties and forties that everyone is comparing it to.

I also have to note that while the performances are good, they are also just good. So much hype for nothing major is annoying to me. It is just reinforcement of how far people have lowered their standards. This film is "good," and nowadays, that happens so rarely that everyone gets their panties in a knot over this sort of thing. Up in the Air doesn't accomplish anything new or exciting, it is just a solid good film. Nothing more, nothing less. Still, it was better than Slumdog Millionaire (my review here), which I guess says something? READ: IT IS NO HURT LOCKER (review coming soon).

As for Avatar, I cannot spend too much time besides mentioning that it can be enjoyed to the same extent on mute. Lines like "I see you," now Cameron's acceptance speech catchphrase in Na'vi, is just insulting to an audience. This plot has been rehashed so many times the people better be bloody blue if you're going to do it again. Also, I would classify this as an animated film, I'm sorry. This is all just modern-day rotoscoping and yes it looks great, but the Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus looked better. Even if its plot is just barely on par, if we're going by visual splendor alone, I'd say Gilliam's is the better film. You cannot create cinema based solely on shock and awe tactics. It may amuse the ticket-buyers, but so does Britney Spears.

I'm so offended and disillusioned sometimes it hurts, but then something like this happens and I'm okay:Awards-shows are meant to maintain order in the universe, and bolster the voices of the critics. They set the standards for years to come. Now tell me honestly, can you hold up Avatar against One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Midnight Cowboy, or Gone With the Wind?

Golden Globes Fashion Report 2010

Cher in who else but Bob Mackie, and Christina Aguilera, in Versace.

Very simple things amuse me during these ceremonies. For example, the image above. Cher being a knockout, so fierce, and Christina Aguilera appearing in the most sensational gown and styling I've ever seen her wear. I'm looking forward to their collaboration in the upcoming Burlesque which is sure to be a masterpiece.
I do have to say that my favorite part of Jason Reitman winning for screenplay was getting to see his beautiful mother. I wish the camera lingered on her for a bit longer:

And of course, Dlisted listed her as the Hot Slut of the Day on Monday!

Sophia Loren in Armani Privé. No one beats this broad. She looked stunning. I love how she was nestled between Colin Firth and Tom Ford, not even at the table for Nine. What is that? That is hot is what it is. Also, she was eating something while they announced Colin's name, and then confusedly looked over at him. "Oh, Guido, Guido."

Melanie Laurant in Ralph Lauren and Padre Tarantino. I can't figure out who dressed him, but whoever did is a genius. More evidence of his wondrousness.

HDTV is worth its weigtht in gold when you get to see the tears rolling down John Lithgow's face, live. This was his precious face while watching Michael C. Hall accept for Dexter. via

And now onto my fashion critiques. For me, it's all eye candy, but the following few leave me with a bit to be desired.

January Jones, in Lanvin. I generally like this, but not the headband, unfortunately isn't the best statement here. I can put this in the same category as Kate Hudson's ensemble, which basically was the white equivalent. I wasn't overly pleased with either.

Penélope Cruz, in Armani Privé. I'm starting to feel like she's going on the Meryl/Barbra/Cher/Diane Keaton path and wearing basically the same things over and over. While she is the classiest of broads, I find her style consistently lacks a certain degree of imagination. The spray-tan doesn't do her justice either.

Sandra Bullock - Bottega Veneta. I think a lot of my feelings towards Sandra have to do with the fact that she isn't the most refined dresser. I can see she had good intentions with the see-through skirt, but basically this is a high-school prom dress. Her hair is never flattering either. She just doesn't live up to her superstar status on the red carpet, and when you become a superstar, I feel like you have to be a style icon of some sort, like Audrey or Grace Kelly who were definitive in their looks. That just doesn't happen anymore with one exception which I will name below. I just have to say that after watching her husband on the Celebrity Apprentice last year, Sandra has gained a lot of my respect.

Chloe - Valentino. I am a fairly large supporter of everything Chloe Sevigny does, most certainly with regard to fashion, but this silhouette wasn't as flattering as it might have looked on Freja Beha, who ended Valentino's Spring RTW show with it. It is possibly the most breathtaking gown worn Sunday, but it wasn't styled properly and I don't think it suited Chloe.

Elisabeth Moss in unknown. This is the embodiment of great red-carpet dressing. Flawless styling with this gown, and such a flattering colour. I think she looks better than ever. My only complaint is the hanging of the necklace so high up, cutting off her particularly short throat.

Maggie Gyllenhaal, in RM by Roland Mouret - I don't think I've ever seen her make a false fashion move. This isn't really my favorite dress, but it just goes to show what the proper fit and colour does on the proper person.

Anna Paquin in Stella McCartney. Once again, flawless. Whoever she has working for her knows their shit.

Ginnifer Goodwin, in Vionnet. Here's one of the cases wherein the umbrella worked to the great advantage. This chick's new haircut is adorable, with styling to match. It takes a lot to pull off a short dress on an event like this and still look classy and she totally did it. The whole getup totally captures her personality.

Drew Barrymore, in Atelier Versace. Like Gyllenhaal, Drew is supreme when it comes to fashion. She just gets better and better with age. I feel like of all of these folks of the past 20 years, she is the only true movie star. She was a 90s style icon, and she knows what dresses suit her on a red carpet. She is always pristine in the highest calibre of old-Hollywood glamour with genuine modern frivolity.

Red carpet images via.

Nine (2009) hurts my feelings

Fellini and his wife, his muse and the love of his life, Giulietta Masina. A reminder of how disparate this film and its source material really are.

Nine the film is a blasphemy. Nine the musical is a blasphemy. I know there are enough complex harmonies in the libretto to get any old musical theatre geek all wet, but thirty years after Raul Julia starred in the original production, that just doesn't cut it. Taking one of the great film masterpieces of all time and reducing it to a racist, mysoginistic dress-up charade is the greatest Cinematic Sin in My Book. On or off stage. The repetition of the word "Guido" is not adequate basis for a script either.

My favorite moment, however, had to be when Sophia Loren, apperearing in a vision as Guido's mother, just smiles and hangs out looking gorgeous and then calmly delivers the comedic phrase: "oh Guido, Guido," and vanishes. My friend Na put it best when she said that it was almost like Sophia just showed up and did her thing without really knowing what the hell was actually going on.

Watching it was agonizing because I was witnessing the first-rate performances of these fine women (and by that I mean Marillon and Penny) totally tearing their own hearts out, being wasted on the lowest calibre of dialogue, direction, and characterization and against the performance of a leading man that is cartoonish at best.

An additional layer of disturbance is offered up by the hands of Rob Marshall's unrelenting delusion that he is the Second Coming of Fosse.

Even the costumes by Colleen Atwood, who is usually perfect, here look like cheesy jazz recital garb.

I've heard that Fellini, upon meeting his future wife said that she had "a face like a turnip," meaning it in the best possible sense. Of course that wife, Giulietta Masina, is now photocopied into the character played here by Marillon Cotillard. I just wanted to note how much Marillon's face struck me in the same way, like "a turnip," with that odd and precious quality that only Masina's possessed before her. Odd co-incidence, or just good casting? I make note of it because normally the role onstage is played by a frumpier or more disengaged version of whomever plays the mistress. Even in 8 1/2 Fellini cast the distant Anouk Aimee to play the wife, but here Luisa is an adorable and sexy turnip-face which was one of the only things in the movie that did work.


Bottom line: I'm shocked at this point. This week I watched at least one film a day to get geared for the Globes, and of the ones in theatres, the best ones I saw are not major contenders. I guess the Globes usually do lessen the blow because they normally honour the TV shows that deserve it, and have the added benefit of two times the major categories. So my spirits are buoyed up until Oscar night, and then you get the boringest clean sweeps that just leave me totally broken.

Commentary of the ones I saw this past week are soon to come:
Up The Hurt Locker Avatar Sherlock Holmes

Next week I'm looking forward to watching most certainly better stuff:
Precious
An Education
A Single Man
The Young Victoria

P.S. At this point I think the best films of the year were Star Trek, Drag Me to Hell, the Hangover, Inglourious Basterds, Fantastic Mr. Fox, a Serious Man etc. I should really re-watch Where the Wild Things Are, and still have to watch Bright Star though.

Thank you for your support!

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Also thanks, and a warm welcome to all my new readers. Brace yourself for more Jenna Rocca-ness in honour of your arrival.

The Gaga Viddy

So I'm back, and guess why? This new Gaga video is blowing my brain. I have to watch it compulsively, like in an OCD way, because the sound and images are stuck in my brain and it is the only way to relieve it. This woman has turned me into a teenager again and I truly feel like she literally has taken up where Madonna left off.

I don't know what adding to the choir of fans is going to serve, but I don't care, this is satisfying work. These were some of my favoritist shots:

First let me just note that there are indeed plus-size dancers in here. Does anyone else notice them on the ends here? They get demoted to the back in later numbers.

I love the way she gets thrown around in this vid. May said here she has "panda eyes."

The many faces of Gaga. Each more lovely than the last.

Check this out. Does it get any fiercer. Nay.

Her acting also gets me.

Being carried like a baby.

Magic. I swear that celestial orb thing she wears is the best invention since the television set.

Editorial.

How bloody magic does it get? Is this not the most fabulously terrifying thing ever?

I love the styling here. Making me want full bangs again.

Signing off for now, but mark this, not forever.

Summer Movie Tally and ammendments to my wish list!

So here's what I saw from the original list:

Star Trek - I still need to see it again.
Every Little Step - my full review thereof.
(500) Days of Summer - I was impressed. I thought it was going to be way loserisher but it was pretty excellently executed! It really is the Annie Hall for generation Y.
Year One - poor Year One! It could have been soooo gooder.
Whatever Works - Whatever! It's Woody! Patricia (Clarkson) was amazing in it.
Angels & Demons - so bad it's good.
Bruno - no one can touch Sacha.
Harry Potter 6 - so psyched to re-read all the books again.
Away We Go - the critics were way too hard on this one. It was clearly Sam Mendes's best film, and that's because of the script by Dave Eggers. However, as the Poetry Man put it, at it's best, it was better than (500) Days, but at its worst, it was indeed worse, due in large part to Sam Mendes's corniness and lame soundtrack. He seriously doesn't know what he's doing with regard to pacing; I feel like he does it just to seem arty.

Movies I saw but weren't on the list:

Drag Me to Hell - and glad I did - look at that average! I was truly impressed. This is destined to be a cult classic.
The Girlfriend Experience - awesome film.
The Hangover - I loved it. Zach is my new love due mainly to this video.

Additions:

Julia - yay Tilda!
Cheri - I'm sorry but I love Michelle Pfeiffer.
The Hurt Locker - looks so intense I'm kind of scared to see it.
Moon - decent reviews + Bowie Jr. + scifi + Sam = good enough for me.

Off the list:

Public Enemies - it's probably okay, but at this point it's just not doing it for me. Kind of just looks like a star vehicle at this point.

Still need to see:

Tetro - Francis Ford and Vincent Gallo are dear friends of mine.
Up! - I KNOW DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED, IT'S NATALIE'S FAULT.

A Chorus Line and Every Little Step (2009)

Seriously I almost feel like when this comes out on video I'm just going to always have stock of it to just give out constantly as gifts. Mixing elements of the musical, reality television eliminations, suspense and obviously the documentary, Every Little Step is completely fresh. I really think it is the only way a Chorus Line can successfully be adapted to film. The literal makeup of this documentary actually transposes the theme and message of the original musical perfectly without contrivance. As opposed to that failure of a film version that was made, and other lofty and ridiculous reviews, it does not obsess over, "the line," which so many people have interpreted as having some kind of Communist meaning.

So many lines from Michael Bennet's dialogue on that fateful night (a tape recorded session from which all of the plots of the characters "on the line" are taken) explicitly state otherwise, "I think that we're all pretty interesting, and that all of you are pretty interesting. And I think that maybe there's a show in that... somewhere... which would be called A Chorus Line." Another thing it did was make me realize how much of a genius Michael Bennet really was for it also tells the story of the shows original execution, a success story with the urgency of "I Hope I get it" in its own right. I really don't think the suspense of who actually gets cast was relevant, though, because in most cases it was pretty obvious who they were going to pick because the panel was bawling after some auditions. Yes.

Here's the trailer just for a taste.

I know the comparison to Man on Wire seems kind of obscure but I think these two films are inextricably linked because they are documentaries of a new kind: about the abstract. Also it will probably be nominated at the Oscars this year, if not win. I was practically bawling by the end.

And just for super-awesome timeness, here is Shirley Bassey (one of my all-time best vocalists) performing the cheesiest number in the show and making it fanfuckingtastic. WHAT IS THAT DRESS:



"Won't forget, can't regret what I did for love."